I have a son who is beginning to think about college, and it’s not only nerve-wracking for him, it’s nerve-wracking for me! There are many factors to consider and elements to prepare, and the competition is so tight it’s overwhelming! That’s when I encourage myself to take a deep breath and step back. God created him, and he knows what’s best for him. God is holding everything in his hands. I remember Proverbs 16:3, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Also, Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” We are not parenting alone, and God can be trusted.
While modern culture might paint a complicated picture of to-do’s, faith provides us with the tunnel vision to see what’s most important. We have three main jobs as Christian parents. First, our children must know that we unconditionally love them as parents. They depend upon it. Second, our children need to know the unconditional love of God. Knowing the Perfect Parent opens the door to a God who can love them whole when we as parents aren’t perfect or our children make mistakes. Finally, we as parents are called to provide our children with resources within our capability to help them fulfill their God-given destiny. When we support God’s vision for our children’s lives, as opposed to sometimes our vision, we achieve the sacred task of parenting.
This advice is contrary to modern parenting today, which can paint parenting as an exercise of ego. In other words, parents live vicariously through their children and their performance. In her book Never Enough, New York Times bestselling author Jennifer Wallace writes about how parents are apt to pick colleges or activities based on their prestige rather than an honest assessment of their child’s fit. This makes their children unhappy and ultimately less successful. By tuning into our children and who God created them to be, we augment their happiness and reap the reward.
It’s a hard time to parent, but faith affords us the necessary vantage point to focus on what’s most important. When we successfully navigate these five modern challenges, we serve as channels of blessing to our family. God can use our willingness to be salt, or something different, in his service and usher in our reward. Happier marriages, healthier families, and safeguarded intangibles are the first steps in the right direction.
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